


Bros' Night Out

by katayla



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Future Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-21
Updated: 2009-06-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 19:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katayla/pseuds/katayla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the future. Barney, Marshall, and Ted have a bros' night out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bros' Night Out

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://torigates.livejournal.com/profile)[**torigates**](http://torigates.livejournal.com/) asked for this for Christmas. Which, yes, was six months ago. But it ended being a nice fic to post on Father's Day, so I'm going to pretend that was my plan all along.

"Should've known you'd be the first one here," Marshall said, as he slid into the familiar MacClaren's booth.

"Uh, it's only in the bro code," Barney said. "Never be late to a bros' night out!"

"I'm not late!"

Barney looked at his watch and sniffed. "You made the cut off. Barely. Where's Ted?"

"I'm here, I'm here!" Ted rushed up to the table. "The baby wouldn't stop crying and I couldn't just leave her with the babysitter like that!"

"Isn't that what your wife is for?" Barney asked. "Cooking, cleaning, keeping the kids out of sight."

"You know," Ted said. "It's a really good thing you and Robin never got married."

"Friends with benefits for life!"

"Barney, I don't think you can call it friends with benefits when you've been living together for three years," Marshall said.

Barney waved a hand. "Someone had to take Scherbatsky in after Ted kicked her out."

"I didn't kick her out," Ted said. "I got married!"

"And someone had to comfort her after that betrayal."

Before Ted could respond, Wendy appeared at their table, drink pad in hand. "You guys!" she squealed. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

"Well," Ted said, as he puffed his chest out. "You may have heard that I've been a little busy raising a daughter."

Wendy smiled. "Congratulations, Ted," she said.

"And Lily and I had another one," Marshall said.

"Pictures!" Wendy demanded. "Both of you!" Marshall and Ted passed pictures across the table. A full ten minutes passed as Wendy asked questions. Barney, meanwhile, tapped his fingers on the table, as his eyes roamed the bar.

Finally, he broke into the conversation. "Robin and I have kids," he said.

Wendy frowned and tilted her head. "_You_ have kids?"

"We adopted." Barney said. He pulled out his wallet and showed her a picture. "Look, aren't they adorable?"

"Barney, those are dogs."

Barney snatched the picture back. "Wendy, I won't have you insulting my children!"

"But Barney--"

Marshall put his hand on Wendy's arm. "Let it go."

Wendy blinked and shook her head. "Well, boys, can I take your orders?"

"Better stick to root beer," Ted said. "I'm a responsible dad now."

Marshall nodded. "Wise choice, Ted. Same for me, please."

"You guys are pansies," Barney said. "Your finest scotch, Wendy! And keep them coming!"

"Got it."

"We can't drink like we used to," Ted cautioned.

Barney rolled his eyes. "Keep your dad-behavior at home, Theodore. I can take care of myself."

"I'm just saying, don't come complaining to me when you wake up with a hangover."

"Have you lost all sense of adventure? Have you forgotten how to have fun?"

"Uh, Ted?" Marshall said. "I don't like the sound of this."

"Yeah, Barney, I didn't mean--"

Barney spoke over them. "Five years ago, the three of us were the hippest bachelors around!"

"Actually, Lily and I were--"

"Women surrounded us every time we left the apartment! We never went home alone."

"I don't remember that part," Ted said.

"And now you two sit around with your 'root beer' and talk about your 'kids.'"

"Did he just refer to our children using quotation marks?" Marshall asked.

"Come on, Barney," Ted said. "Even you aren't the same guy you used to be."

"Please," Barney said. "I'm the as awesome as I've always been."

"It's not a bad thing. You just grew up," Ted said.

"Uh, no, that would be you two. Marriage. Babies." Barney shuddered. "I've stayed successful at avoiding such horrors."

"Barney, five years ago, you'd be plotting some scheme to hit on women, not sitting here with us," Marshall said.

"And your dogs?" Ted said. "Those tie you down."

"And there's the fact that you've been with Robin for years."

"We have an open relationship!"

"Had," Marshall said. "That lasted for, what, a month?"

"Face it, Barney," Ted said. "You might not be married, but you _are_ in a committed--"

"Don't say it!"

"--relationship."

Barney cringed.

"Come on," Marshall said. "It's not so awful, is it?"

And Barney looked across the room. So many people in the bar could've been them five years ago. The singles who wanted to get married, the ones who just wanted a night out, the couples who were attached at that hip . . . all of them were versions of him or Ted or Marshall. Not as they were now, but as they had been. And he'd loved being that guy. He'd loved being the one coming up with the wilds plans and saying wild things to women he knew he'd never see again. He didn't regret that time in his life.

Wendy came by with their drinks. "Here you go, boys. Enjoy!"

Barney took a sip of his scotch and said, "No, it's not so awful."

"And don't worry," Marshall said. "You'll always be fun Uncle Barney to our kids."

"And we'll always have bros' nights out," Ted said. "Just . . . the days of playing 'Have You Met Ted?' are behind us."

"That _worked_," Barney said. "Do you remember the time when . . . ?"

The rest of the night was spent laughing over the old times, and talking about the future. Ted and Marshall swapped baby stories, while Barney tried to convince them that raising puppies was much harder than taking care of babies.

And at ten o'clock, when Ted and Marshall made their excuses to leave, Barney went home, too. Hanging out in bars all night didn't have the appeal it used to, and he'd left Robin alone with a three week old foster puppy.

No, his new life wasn't so awful. After all, he'd kept his friends, and they were the most important part of his past. As long as he had them, he figured he was still a pretty awesome guy.


End file.
